How Heart Disease Changed My Life
Every day I wake up, I realize that I’m blessed, because I have beaten everything meant to destroy me. Life is a gift and is one of those things where you never truly know what’s going to happen.
An unexpected diagnosis at age 25
I knew my life was going to change, but I had no clue what was coming around the corner. I envisioned a career, a husband, and a family until August 29, 2014.
I was getting ready to switch careers and go to school for physical therapy. After being a correctional officer for about a year, I wanted to do something that truly helped people. I suffered a stroke and was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy at the age of 25.
Career and personal life changes
This diagnosis changed my life in many ways, such as having to take medication daily. I was the healthiest person in my household, not to mention the most athletic. I was even a certified personal trainer when I graduated college, and now, with this heart condition, who would want to train with me? Now I had to choose a less stressful profession like a desk job.
My boyfriend at the time didn’t want to be with me anymore because I didn’t know how to deal with the diagnosis, and I was advised not to get pregnant. The reason behind this is that my ejection fraction was so low, the doctors didn’t think I would be able to sustain a pregnancy.
Changes to my dating life
I would have to explain my health history to anyone interested in dating me because so many men want kids; since I couldn’t have any, I thought, what would be the point? I also had to explain why I was taking pills every day, because that was a turn-off for many people in their 20s.
My whole attitude towards life changed; I was so negative about everything, especially my future, because it was so uncertain. Never in a million years did I ever think that this would be my life.
These were the cards I was dealt, so I could either learn to deal with it or just stop trying. I chose to learn to deal with it.
A welcome change to my mental health
I changed my attitude and started thinking more positively, and I sought professional help because I wanted to start changing. I knew that I couldn’t do it alone, so I found a therapist, and she started showing me how to start thinking positively and how I could start working on my self-esteem.
My therapist saw that my self-esteem was low and that I was overly critical of myself. I had to unlearn all the negativity and dig deeper into why. I’ve always been critical of myself, and I don’t know why, but I think it came from being competitive in sports — always feeling like you have to be the best at that sport and you have to win.
Each day I wake up is a gift
My therapist would give me assignments after every session, and 1 of the assignments was for me to write positive affirmations and recite them to myself daily. This exercise really helped me to look at the positive things that were still going on in my life. It helped me to see that my life wasn’t over, but that I just had to live differently.
All my tests showed I had dilated cardiomyopathy, but I didn’t go into a panic because of all the different positive things I was telling myself. I wasn’t going to doctor’s appointments with a negative attitude anymore and, slowly but surely, my experiences were more positive.
Heart disease changed my life, and I am grateful for the experience because I wouldn’t have grown to be who I am currently without it. Now I have a new heart, a new career, and I’m enjoying every day because each day I wake up is a gift.
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